Sometimes you take for granted the beauty and inspiration that you’re surrounded by every day.
Waiting for the Q train…noticed all of the posters had the train line cut out, in this case what’s cut out from the poster was {4}
These are the subtlety that make New York, undeniably…new york.
So.
I have this cat.
I mean, he’s nice enough…very handsome, expressive and dominant in his own ways but in as much as he is independent he is needy, he constantly wants attention and of course, it must be on his own terms. He walks up to me…rubs his body along my shins…I bend down to pet him and he runs away. He meows at me, walks back over and stands in front of me, like a child demanding a treat before dinner and wails until he gets the specific type of attention he needs. When he is content; and he never is for long…he carries about his business and it is within this time, his cat time that I can never intrude. I can’t move his toys, I can’t move any of the multiple beds he has around the house or he throws a tantrum (you would think it’s not possible for a cat to do so…but it really is)…everything is on his whim, his time and his want. If I’m lucky…I’ll get non crazy behavior before bedtime and if I’m even more lucky than that, I’d make it through the entire night without him climbing up on the bed and trying to lay awkwardly between A and I and getting upset when we move and wake him up or I can escape without him waking us up meowing simply because he wants to be acknowledged.
Cutest thing about the annoying things that he does in the morning though, is that he walks up to your face when you’re sleeping…and if your eyes are closed – he’ll take his paw and he’ll tap you somewhere…no claw and very gently somewhere….a couple of times if he’s feeling determined and when you open his eyes, he’ll purr and carry on like nothing happen.
I think this is preparing me greatly in ways that I never imagined for what true parent hood maybe like (and no, I’m not saying a cat is like a child) in terms of the little things shinning through the annoyances, the sacrifices and the slight change to your schedule in favor of what the little one would like to do even if … it’s completely silly like chase the edges of the carpet.
Definitely love my cat. 
I’m not really a fan of “Christmas” because of course there is no evidence of the historical Jesus so there isn’t nearly enough to go on to believe that he was born exactly on the December 25, that the Winter Solstice is always around this time and the early Christians did a lot to compromise with the pagans leave my lack of belief in these festivities lacking. Not to say I don’t participate. I love my cousins and my friends and gift giving my specialty, though I don’t want until Christmas to give.
I think as humanity we need Christmas as a holiday to focus on other people because we get so caught up in our day to day bull so that we can appreciate the people that we love, the people that love us and tunnel that. What I don’t like about holidays like Christmas and Valentine’s Day is that it tunnels affection into this small windows of opportunity that it makes it okay for us to completely dismiss our loved ones during the course of the year.
My Holiday Wish, would be to see that change and to endeavor to be better to my family and friends every day.
Of all the titles that I’ve carried and even those that I’ve left behind; partner is the one that I cherish most.
I’m not talking about dating, I don’t date. A long term relationship is best suited to my needs. I cherish having someone close that I can seek solace in, someone I know I would fight the world for and die in his stead. To me, this is the closest I will ever come to experiencing God as God is defined.
The selflessness and patience required is as taxing as any religion and the outcome: a beautiful life right here on earth is more valuable to me than what unknown unknowns will occur in the hereafter.
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Been feeling lackluster this week, trying to get past the ugly duckling issues that have resonated since my childhood. Our family is well known and well judged by people who share the same ancestral grounds as us and since we were on the cutting edge and was among the first to be racially ambiguous, it was a challenge.
My father is indian; I have a super Hindi sounding last name that surely gets me a double take when going through airport security. I do always get “randomly selected” for search and I always get questioned intensely about where I’m from, my name and my dad’s name. I don’t look indian. That is what normally throws everyone off. I’m a typical caribbean dougla girl with curly hair, a button nose and light brown skin. Typical where I come from and typical here is obviously different. I don’t look purely black either; which gets me the questions of what I’m mixed at the start of every conversation: the one I get a lot (disgustingly a lot) is Ethiopia as the Amhara people there have similar features, all I’m missing is the straight nose.
I’m mixed enough to be exotic to americans but when it comes down to it, I’m one of millions of people that are bi, tri or multiracial who don’t fit in with any race category or who checks “other” when they’re filling out their forms. Why are we so fascinating?
All I want is to pass through security but beyond that I want to feel a sense of belonging I can only feel when I’m with people who are from my part of the world, as there is no explanation required and I’m just another slim, dougla girl.
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So, I don’t know who actually goes to the theater to see Parody Movies, but I’m going to have to ask you to stop.
I’ll even throw in a please.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not some kind of elitist…I’m a concerned citizen. I watch those movies too, but it’s normally when I can’t find anything else to watch on TV or I’m waiting for the movie I want to watch to start, they do have their moments but I believe they should be straight to DVD. Why would I pay $13-$15 to see Vampire Sucks? Movies are too expensive and popcorn costs a fortune; why waste the money on a movie that’s going to be lack luster at best, with a few good laughs and nothing in between? I guess you could be doing it because you’re in a huge group and it’s fun…but I’m sure there was something less horrible out at the time…sheesh.
/end rant.
I don’t believe in coincidence. There are no accidents, only intended revelations.
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I’ve argued the importance of good ole’ page turning before, I feel there is nothing better than being insomniac ridden by a good book and the trembling of your fingers as you turn page after page. There is something about feeling the weight of the book in your hands or on your lap that makes you feel at home or that begs to take you away to another place.
Growing up, being read to sleep; the thrill of going to a book store and carefully selecting your next best friends were a big deal. There was a huge stigma attached to reading, a good one and the more books you had the better you were, the more well educated. As times are changing so is the stigma. For a while, reading was un cool but with the rise of the Harry Potter Series, Twilight and older books that had cult followings like Tolkien and Fight Club reading is making a come back but there are definitely new rules in the reading game.
I’ve never liked e-readers or The View but today I heard a very poignant comment and it was the most intelligent I’d heard in a while in defense of the E-readers. Whoopi Goldberg (and I’m paraphrasing) was talking about the amount of books that kids have to walk around with and how simple it would be if every child had an E-reader and could download their text books every semester. They would have less load to carry, won’t have to worry about what text book to bring to school what day and they would over all have everything they need at their finger tips. On the flip side there are a lot of reasons why that wouldn’t work or why it wouldn’t work for everyone. Who says that everyone will be able to afford them and even if the schools do get a break from Amazon (Kindle) or Barnes and Noble (Nook) there is no saying that Parents would be able to afford the extra cost and there is no way our government will pick up the tab.
More toward the Pro of the having an Ebook is that after the initial high cost of purchasing the hardware the e-books are cheaper than physical books. An average E-book costs $8-$12 depending on a title and a paper book can cost anywhere from $15-$25. and Amazon has reported selling more E-books than hard covers and they have made millions. According to Wired.com in the link here: http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2010/07/amazon-more-e-books-than-hardcovers/ that it takes the purchase of 11 e-books to justify the cost of the $180 Kindle which is a huge deal and amount of savings (E-books for amazon are $10 and less) for a heavy reader like myself.
So the dilema remains, should I get an E-book. I’m fearful as it looks fragile and I’d be scared shitless if I drop it. I’m ultimately less angry at it for taking away from my romantic notions of real books but I see the benefits either way. I feel like a mid ground of using it on the go, and buying a paper version of books you love is a good way to compromise. I don’t know if I’ll get one, but I’m more open minded.
If you are a heavy reader and you have an E-reader, I’d love to hear from you.
When you’re soul is broken and you feel like you’re not yourself, you need to step back, put everything on hold and just allow healing time. It doesn’t have to be much; you don’t need to run away to an Island in Crete or drown your woes in the best Columbian Cocaine; sometimes the best get away is right in your room, in your bed, locking out the world and knowing that at the very least there is one person; whether they are present or not, that loves you unconditionally.
I’ve found that just the idea of being loved, the concept that someone knows and recognizes me for me, will make the right decisions for me and will have my best interests in the four front of their mind is comforting. I feel less alone. I feel less incomplete.
I know that I am capable of love and I am capable of receiving love. That has been my life’s lesson for this vacation. Think, meditate, love, be kind, revel in the small things and live life not like there’s no tomorrow but that if there is a tomorrow it will be better than today and if there is a tomorrow; it will be a better day just for you having taken part in it.
Sometimes this isn’t easy. I’m not saying that I will walk around with a smile on my face forever, and be happy and cheerful and love life and not dwell on pain; what I’m saying is that love is eternal, pain passes when you learn the lesson and life is our one shot. Enjoy it.
Another for Lightbringer.
I love you. <3
