I’ve been a creature of habit for the past 8 years; deviation from the ritualistic nature of waking up and getting ready for work was the closest I came to utter worship. I went to work when I was happy, sad, sick, well, depressed, anxious, terrified and everything in between.
Now, I don’t have that anymore.
Yes it’s sort of silly to me that I feel this way. I know that I resigned for greener pastures and bigger academic dreams but I missed what I felt I knew. Also, I miss knowing that I’m amazing at something. I’m not magnificently skilled at any one, great thing but I am articulate, empathetic and a good problem solver so I excelled at Customer Service or at least I thought I did.
More than the institution, I miss the friends I made. I don’t have those in abundance and like at most places when someone leaves that usually spells the end of any friendships. It’s…humbling.
It’s been a little over two weeks and it hasn’t really sunk in yet. I haven’t broken my sleep patterns but I’ve been told that it will take upwards of a month or so to get accustomed to this new normal.
My Mom keeps asking me if I’m bored yet. She calls me and talks to me half amused and half amazed that I really did it. Workaholic runs in my family apparently.
Never thought I would say that I missed work but here we are…
I’ve already discussed in a previous post my dislike to for washing dishes so I think I’ll flip this challenge a bit.
If I were a robot, I would either be relegated to cooking or to caring for either older people or animals.
Cooking I enjoy but not as much as I adore watching people satisfied because they had my food. There is something about sating someone’s hunger and arousing their taste buds that really does it for me. It is always an act of love when I cook regardless of my mood.
Nurturing is easy for me, I’m always the Mom of the group; the person that everyone expects to have advil or know what to do and I enjoy that role as it never feels like the wrong thing to do (Cooking / Feeding someone is clearly an extension of this)
I would be perfectly content with either of these if I were a robot. What kind of robot would you be?
As with most immigrant children, a very strong work ethic was instilled in me from a young age. I started working at 15 and I’ve had very few months in between then and now that were completely work free and it was scary.
I’m currently in transition so I know that I will have to deal with those same fears and feelings of anxiety…mainly the feeling that I’m not doing “anything” if I’m not working.
If I achieve wealth (or rather, when I do) I will still work because I believe that work is two-fold.
1. Working toward self-actualization – happiness
2. Assisting others
Being fortunate to reach that goal earlier in life would mean that I would have more time to dedicate to the second aspect of the work I believe we are assigned to do.
I think the fundamental problem with society is that we have come to believe that our work is complete when we have achieved success or riches and because it starts to feel hollow you either seek out more money and success without realizing that it is a two-fold process.
I am by no means saying that you can’t work at both at the same time, I’m just noting that with success and influence the second part becomes a lot easier to do and if you’re really lucky, it would mean that you could do the second part full time. :)
August is a tough month for me, current events aside; the 3rd is my late Grandmother’s Birthday and the 19th marked one year since the passing of my Mother In Law.
I can’t believe it’s been a year already.
Beyond the forced acknowledgement of my family’s losses over the past two years, I’ve been making an attempt to think more about creating the foundation for a solid future. That line of thinking led me to submitting my notice of resignation at work. I have been at my current job for 8+ years, I don’t think I have to elaborate of how terribly difficult it will be to leave behind what has become my second family.
I’m excited at the prospect of having free time for myself and going back to school but the fear of not having a “plan” definitely supersedes the happier parts of this for now.
Grateful to have the support of my Husband, Family and Friends as we grow to new heights. <3
Picked up these two magnets today on my lunch break run along with The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
They have t-shirts as well. Clearly they give no damns about my budget.